Even if you get along well with your beautiful family Before you start planning a wedding, there’s nothing like the upcoming nuptials to test relationships.
A woman found out the hard way after getting engaged to her boyfriend and immediately expressed her desire for a small wedding.
The woman, 32, explains about Reddit’s “Am I the asshole” thread she “respectfully” hates marriage culture and all the “weight it carries”.
She also says “been there, done that”, suggesting she’s been through a big marriage before and it didn’t work out as planned.
“So my (future) in-laws are very traditional people (luckily my fiancé isn’t like that and I was able to show him how traditional weddings are overrated). The in-laws clearly want a ‘traditional’ wedding with all the ‘work'”, she explains. “Big party, big venue, a whole bridal party and private photographer, and a fancy, expensive wedding dress to impress guests and a huge variety of catering options plus DJs and who knows what else. “
It was during the wedding planning process that the woman’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law visited her and began helping her plan. They started creating a to-do list, leaving the bride feeling “nauseous”.
“I asked why the hassle and hype?” she asks. To which his in-laws replied “that’s how it is in the family”.
“I told her I was sorry about that (oops!) but my fiancé and I had already decided to have a little party in our big garden with a humble purple dress as our wedding dress, and Etta James “At Last “playing in the background,” she wrote.
At this point, his in-laws expressed their shock at the situation before his stepmother started “screaming at me and telling me I was trying to play a joke on his son and the family”.
Her mother-in-law then demanded that she stick to the list that had been created.
“I called my fiancé to come home but his dad and aunt got there first and they all started arguing with me about being crazy and not letting me go. not ruin my wedding and that of their son for them,” the bride said. keep on going.
“My fiancé came home and kind of took over everything we agreed to,” she explains. “I got so mad at him and asked why, he told me he didn’t think his family would react like that.”
The row ended with her fiancé’s family threatening not to attend the wedding if it wasn’t what they expected.
“They criticized me top to bottom and top to bottom saying they don’t understand why I’m doing this when I have enough money and time to have a dignified and respectable marriage like everyone else. world in the family”, recalls the bride.
They accused her of being a “bridezilla” for trying to “dictate marriage from a to z”.
“Also said just because I’ve had a wedding before doesn’t mean I’m taking this one lightly,” she wrote. “We are still pretty much arguing about it and my fiancé keeps saying he wants his family not to miss our wedding and has asked me to reconsider what we had previously planned.”
She asks Reddit users for advice, and many question the relationship between the newlyweds.
“I would put the wedding on hold for now, at least until your fiancé grows a spine,” one wrote.
“The only thing I would negotiate on is the fiancé,” another commented. “Tell him he can marry his parents, but you won’t be here for that.”
“Put the wedding on hold for good until your husband stops being influenced by his family,” another said. “Your marriage is between you and your husband. No one else matters. Your husband wants to appease his family but you need to remind him that this is a ceremony to commit your lives together, not a party that your family must dictate.”
Others share a different perspective.
“I 100% agree with non-mainstream. I prefer your style,” they wrote. “However, I hesitated when I read that you were ‘able to convince him to see how overrated traditional weddings are’.
“My concern would be that you managed to convince his logic, but perhaps not to convince his emotions.”
“You should decide things together like adults,” said another. “Parents and other family members don’t have the same decision-making power as the goddamn couple getting married.
“The way I see it is that he only agreed with OP about marriage to appease him. Looks like he’ll let anyone make decisions for him just to avoid stress.”
“Or just not having a marriage at all. Honestly, it doesn’t even seem worth it to be connected to that kind of family afterwards,” adds another.
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