Johnny Depp’s Urgent Celebrity Detox Shot

He won the trial that captivated the world, but Johnny Depp did not come out unscathed. And he is now fighting to win back his career.

Johnny Depp may have won his case against ex-wife Amber Heard, but neither side came out unscathed, which is why the Pirates of the Caribbean star has launched an emergency image rehabilitation campaign aligning itself with one of the most vulnerable minorities in the world: orphan badgers.

Not enough work has been done for the orphan badger community. For too long, orphan badgers everywhere have been silenced and ignored. So far.

The spotlight on orphan badgers may be the only glimmer of hope to come out of the bitter trial between Depp and his ex-wife Heard which featured allegations and counterclaims of domestic violence and exposed the actor’s dark struggles. Depp was ultimately awarded $10.35 million in damages, unlike $2 million awarded to Heard. And while the verdict was in favor of Depphis reputation is in tatters.

It is now embarking on an image overhaul. And his first task was to support badgers in need.

Ahead of this week’s verdict, the actor flew to the UK and surprised onlookers by on stage with English music icon Jeff Beck in Sheffield. He then made another shock appearance when he accompanied the rock star to an animal shelter in Kent and cradled an orphan badger named Freddie.

Was it a calculated photo shoot to clean up his tarnished image? We can’t say for sure. But it seems timely – a bit like the scandal-ridden Prince Andrew unable to attend the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations this weekend because he conveniently tested positive for Covid just before it started. .

Folly Wildlife Rescue posted a photo of Johnny with Freddie the orphan badger and provided more details about the visit which included a tour of the hospital’s care and veterinary units.

“To top it off, we’ve even granted him the rare privilege of briefly holding Freddie…one of the many orphan badgers we’re currently raising by hand – and I think it’s fair to say he has been overwhelmed by the whole experience!” gushed the caption of the image.

When it comes to getting back on top, Johnny is willing to do whatever it takes, damn it, even if that includes cradling orphaned badgers.

But why did he choose orphan badgers as the minority to fight for? Well, there are plenty of beleaguered celebrities in Hollywood trying to rehabilitate their images, which means most of the social causes and charities are already taken. What was left? Orphan badgers.

Now he really has to commit to the cause of orphan badgers. He’s already on tour with Jeff Beck so naturally the next step will be to release a charity single. Then start a website that sells overpriced orphan badger products – T-shirts, keychains, trucker hats. Then maybe a fundraising gala.

The thing is, embattled celebrities really need to choose their social causes wisely because they’ll be stuck with them for a very long time. Johnny has it high-flying friends in Hollywood who supported him during the trial, but his dedication to the orphan badger community might be a bridge too far.

“Ugh, I can’t believe we have to go to Johnny’s orphan badger dinner,” Jennifer Aniston could sigh to Courteney Cox on the phone. “I’m so sick of writing checks for those stupid badgers!”

It’s a desperate move from a desperate man, who now faces an uphill battle to rebuild his career in Hollywood.

“Despite the fervent wishes of his hardcore fans, Depp’s reputation remains on the skids thanks to the admittedly reprehensible behavior the actor has exhibited in his relationship with Heard,” the film critic told Wenlei Ma wrote this week.

“Preeminent Hollywood studios will be hesitant to work with Depp again despite the verdict in his favor – the risk/reward matrix isn’t up to scratch while there are still legions of moviegoers who will boycott anything he’s into involved.”

Johnny needs the orphan badgers more than the orphan badgers need Johnny. He uses the orphan badger community for his personal gain. It’s repulsive. Using orphan badgers as a prop? They are not babies!

Has anyone stopped to ask the orphan badgers if they want to to be associated with Johnny?

News Corp reached out to the orphan badger community, but their spokesperson did not provide comment ahead of publication.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

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