Five Words That Send Single Men Running

An Australian dating expert and matchmaker has revealed the five words single women supposedly should stop saying if they want to pursue a relationship.

An Australian dating expert and matchmaker has revealed the five words single women supposedly should stop saying if they want to pursue a relationship.

In a video shared on Instagram earlier this week, Perth-based Louanne Ward explained why women should avoid the phrase, “I don’t need a man.”

While ‘it’s true, you don’t need a man – you make your own money, you can support yourself, you have your own life, you’re happy’, ‘every time you say’ I don’t need a man’, what you do is you put out there exactly what you attract back,” she said in the clip.

“You may not need a man, but you actually need everything a man can give you – affection, support, love, laughter, sex, love. ‘watch out,’ Ward added.

“You need him for all he can give you. Start being brave enough to say, “Actually, I need a man for all the things I can’t afford.”

Elaborating further on the video, Ward told that if you walk around saying or thinking ‘I don’t need a man’, ‘it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy’ – the phenomenon psychological of someone “predicting” or expecting something and it happens simply because the person believes or anticipates that it will.

“The importance of the message [you tell] for yourself and for others is relevant to the outcome,” she said. “If you have a need or a want, you try harder, you bring your A-game, you become the best version of yourself.

“If you tell yourself you don’t need something, not only does that hinder motivation, but you don’t value the reward.”

The concept of defining your “needs or wants” when it comes to dating isn’t new – the “law of attraction” principle, which claims that positive thoughts will lead to positive experiences, first gained traction. in the 19th century.

And in recent years, the idea of ​​’manifesting’ a partner has moved to the forefront – with Google searches for the term skyrocketing. 669 percent between March and July 2020 only.

On ICT Tacthe “how to manifest a boyfriend” tag has over 148.6 million views, while “small event” has more than 17.9 billion.

The idea made headlines earlier this year when Megan Fox revealed to Charm in an interview she believes she has shown her relationship with fiancé Machine Gun Kelly.

“He’s literally my exact physical type that I’ve been showing since I was four years old. I’m also four years older than him. So I think I’ve done it,” she said.

“My thoughts and intentions have made him the person he is, who knows what he would have looked like or been if it wasn’t for me.”

Ward said that “depending on the particular ‘love interest’, saying you don’t ‘need’ someone “could come across in different ways.”

“If you’re trying to win someone’s affection, you want to at least feel like you have a chance of getting the reward. The effort put in equals the reward – there’s no motivation to get the reward. unobtainable,” she said.

“Hearing these words can trigger the fear of failure. Simply put, when we win, the brain releases feel-good endorphins, serotonin and dopamine.

“These feel-good chemicals make us want to recommit to a task, but the experience of failure causes the stress hormone cortisol to be released, which triggers the flight or fight response. ”

When asked how women can reframe this mindset if they maintain it, “there’s a big difference between need and need.”

“Being brave enough to be vulnerable and understanding the strength behind vulnerability.

“Speaking your truth, saying what you need and owning it is empowering,” she advised.

“I think we’re all evolved enough to know that survival doesn’t depend on love, we can survive and exist without it. But love evokes feelings of acceptance, caring, and belonging. We are also wired to care, protect and nurture.

“Love makes us biologically happier, science 101. Where’s the shame in admitting the need for more happiness?”

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