Five simple words can destroy your chances of finding a relationshipaccording to a dating expert.
Australian matchmaker and dating coach Neighborhood Louanne knows what motivates men and how women can find “the right one” – but she says some women inadvertently drive away their potential soulmates.
Speaking to 9Honey, Ward says men treat dating as a challenge and seek to win a “prize”, which is to find the person they want to marry.
She says women who exclaim “I don’t need a man” when playing the dating game are actually speaking a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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“The words we speak become our reality,” Ward told 9Honey. “It’s a twisted irony, it’s a negative comment that has an absolute detrimental effect on a man.”
Ward doesn’t want women to misinterpret his advice. She hugs warmly feminism and the idea that a relationship isn’t the only thing that can make a woman happy.
However, if you are actively looking for a romantic partner, this phrase can derail your search.
We have 90% women trying to date 10% men
“What a lot of women don’t realize is [a lot of] men have to feel like they’re going to win a prize,” Ward continued.
“They want to feel like it’s worth the right. Because as soon as a woman says, ‘I don’t need you’, it’s no longer a challenge because he doesn’t need to be in his life. Testosterone actually drops.”
If a man told a woman he didn’t “need” her to be happy, it would be an overwhelming experience, Ward says. So why would you say it if you hope to attract a man?
His words of warning might be considered controversial, but Ward’s resume speaks for itself.
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As a Certified Relationship Expert, she knows which habits can get in the way of a healthy and happy love life.
Ward’s advice for women who want to find the “perfect” man is simple. Stop looking for “perfect” and embrace the idea of an imperfect individual.
“There are so many great guys out there, and we put a lot of shame on certain things — whether it’s jobs or whether they’re emotionally open or not,” she says.
“You’re being unrealistic. In my opinion, we have 90% of women trying to date 10% of men. And no one is going to tick all the boxes.”
In her experience as a matchmaker, Ward has also discovered that many women tend to shy away from a “flawed” man because she doesn’t want to have to “train” them.
But she says men are just humans and will always need to be “trained” – or in other words, to learn how to meet your specific needs.
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“Of course, you’re going to have to train him. Because if he’s ever been with another woman, his needs are different from yours,” she continued.
“So instead of saying, ‘I don’t want to train a man,’ think instead, ‘I can’t wait to get him to know me.'”
Ward made headlines last week after sharing a video on the “five words that keep you single”.
Posting the clip on Instagram, she explained that proclaiming you don’t need a man has the opposite effect if you actually want to find a partner.
“Every time you say, ‘I don’t need a man,’ what you’re doing is putting out there exactly what you’re attracting back,” she said.
“It’s true. You don’t need a man. You make your own money, you can support yourself, you have your own life. You’re happy.
“So you may not need a man, but you actually need all the things a man can give you.”
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