The first few months as a new parent are a time of intense learning.
For ABC National Disability Affairs reporter Nas Campanella, who is blind and lives with a neurological condition, figuring out how to handle motherhood has been a wild ride.
“Those first few weeks as a new mom for everyone are really ups and downs and it was an emotional time,” Nas says.
“I was struggling to eat and was just trying to fix everything.”
Lachie is now four months old and Nas says the time has just passed.
“Lachie is getting really big and heavy. I can feel his belly and how long it’s taking.”
Given her disability, Nas relies on her other senses to navigate motherhood, especially during playtime.
“I use a lot of rugs with patterns and textures so I can hear it rustle and know where it is,” she says.
“We also have a lot of stuffed animals that make a lot of noise, so I often surround him with toys to hear him move.”
Diaper changing is a tactile experience.
“There’s no getting around it, and yes, sometimes it can get messy.
“I always make sure I have everything handy when I have him on the changing table, and I always have one hand on him while looking for various things with the other.”
The time spent on the court has become invaluable for Nas to witness Lachie’s progress and milestones.
And Nas says she’s particularly aware of his facial expressions, always going the extra mile to smile when she’s changing Lachie or playing with him, because that’s the most likely time he’ll look directly at her.
“The same way his dad smiles at him or his grandparents, I want him to know that I’m smiling at him too.
“He’s starting to recognize faces and look at people more, and I can tell when he’s focused on me.
“When I hold him I can tell he’s looking at me by the way he breathes – he breathes right into my face. Sometimes he stops waving his hands and that’s when I know ‘He’s focused on me.
Story time is also part of the daily ritual at home. To do this, Nas uses a similar technique she used to read the news on triple j and other ABC platforms.
Friends and family recorded themselves reading children’s books that Nas loaded onto his phone. Through the use of headphones, Nas listens and repeats what she hears in Lachie.
“I hold the printed version of the book in front of Lachie and everyone records audio notes like when to turn the page. It works really well.”
Activities outside the home are also helpful for mom and baby, including a sensory class once a week. The sessions involve a range of activities, using lights, musical instruments and puppets.
“The classes help the kids develop their senses and especially with Lachie’s visual processing, I couldn’t help him with that,” Nas said. “It’s an activity that I strategically chose so that he has access to it and can do it with other children.”
Classes are also a great social outing: “Meeting and talking to other moms who are going through similar experiences is fantastic and makes me feel like we’re all in this together.”
Sure, Nas works on common parenting difficulties like sleep, diet and routines, but she says the biggest challenge is people’s biases.
“A lot of times people are surprised to hear that I’m a mom and some even ask silly things like who’s staying home with Lachie and me, like my son can’t be alone with me,” Nas says.
“It’s really hard to hear those kinds of statements and it’s the kind of discrimination that many disabled parents face on a regular basis.”
Nas hopes lessons can be learned from her pregnancy and motherhood journey.
“If you live with a disability, I hope this teaches you that you absolutely can be a parent, no matter what anyone says. And for non-disabled people, I hope this teaches you that we are here, we’re part of your parents’ groups, and we’re doing a great job.”
Listen to Richard Glover’s interview with Nas Campanella on ABC Radio Sydney.
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